Men want sex! This is the message your mother and or father taught you not too long ago, and of course it’s a stereotype based on some partial truth. Obviously, there are some men out there who will do anything and fake anything for a one night stand. But that’s the opposite of what you want.
Maybe that’s even what you fear most. If you’re emotionally vulnerable, and are still aching from a broken heart resulting from your last relationship, you may feel scared of falling for the same type of man. And it’s the last thing your heart can take right now!
The answer is not to avoid all men or avoid dating forever. It’s not to accept celibacy and live with unpleasant memories of the past, keeping everyone at a distance. I know it feels like the safest thing to do, but it’s not going to make you happy.
You deserve a serious relationship, just like you want. And no, you don’t have to settle for a “loser” or settle for anything less than your ideal standard. All that’s required is that change your attitude and change your approach.
And most importantly at all you pay close attention to the signs. You watch and listen closely so that you get the negative signals that bad boys are sending you, and the signals that Mr. Right is sending you—showing that he’s as serious as you are. Here are five good signs to look for before moving the relationship into the sexual realm.
1. He’s not ashamed of you. He thinks his parents and his friends are going to love you!
Men who desire casual sex with women are, in a way, ashamed of themselves. They will try their best to hide their “mistress” from their friends and their parents because they don’t want to have to explain “what this is”. The relationship is nothing…it’s just a friends with benefits situation, and the last thing he wants is his friends making fun of him or his parents asking questions about engagement. If you fall into this trap, he will always want to stay around bars, clubs or Netflix and chill at your place or his place.
If he really likes you, that means he knows you’re compatible with his lifestyle. You’re compatible with his friends and his parents and siblings. He’s proud of how you conduct yourself. He can’t wait to show you off. He’s very likely thinking about you as serious marriage material.
2. You can answer a lot of things about his past because he loves talking with you about it.
Another test: a guy interested in casual sex WILL NOT talk much about his memories, his personal life or anything he loves. He might answer a few questions if you ask them, but at no time is he going to confide in you or become vulnerable in your presence.
This makes the one night stand less sexy. You knowing all these personal things about him makes him very uncomfortable, and frankly, much harder to dump you and run, which is his plan.
For the best results, don’t overtly ask him to share his memories. Start by talking to him about things he loves—his job, his charity work, his pet project or hobby, and so on. Then gradually, and subtly, make the shift to why he likes these things? What started him down this road? He will eventually realize that he’s confiding in you about his past.
He will either run like a scalded dog before things get too serious or he will realize, “Wow I really do like her…I can’t believe how much we talk and time flies!”
3. He goes out of his way to spend time with you.
The funny thing about all these “casual sex guys” is that they will NOT try that hard to spend time with you, at least not if they have better offers from somewhere else.
But a man who actually likes you and is really enjoying your company will go out of his way, and adjust his schedule for another date. A man interested in a booty call will mostly talk to you at night and want to hang out on the weekend. And if you can’t make it he will be unavailable that same night and that same weekend—because he will be getting his freak on somewhere else.
When a man really likes you he craves your attention and the conversation. He’s interested in having more emotional moments with you—an intense connection of mind and heart. This is what he wants, and the sex enhances that, but the sex is no replacement for good conversation. The mind melding is what really attracts him.
4. He loves hearing you speak.
Now if you play your cards right, you are attracting him by projects the quality of mystery. Men love a mysterious woman, just by nature. They love it when they have to work extra hard to get her attention and then get her to speak at length. Mysterious women tend to be concise. They give only the bare minimum. This drives men wild…
So when you do actually give a longer conversation, he is fascinated with your answers, curious about your life, and is just eager to get your opinion on everything. He is especially fond of getting your emotional reactions to his favorite things. Childhood memories, favorite restaurants, and other lifestyle choices that he wants you to accept. Give him the reaction he wants…and he will adore you.
5. He sees a future with you.
Want to really know what a man thinks about you? Try to get him thinking about the future. Don’t ask him about the relationship. Simply discuss his future and where he sees himself. As soon as he gets the impression that it’s HIS future and not YOURS, he may began to feel a little sad. At this point he may actually say that he wants you in his life, in some capacity. He’s grown fond of you and can’t imagine enjoying his future without your mutual friendship.
You can also tell a lot about what he really thinks of you by the way he makes plans. Does he check with you before making plans? Are dates mutually understood? Does he immediately let you know if he wants to go somewhere and presumes you want to come with him? These are all good signs that he sees a future with you and it’s not just about sex.
As you can see, men who want sex are shallow…not just on the inside but on the outside. You can tell by their behavior that they’re really not interested. But a man who is slowly falling for you, will be easy to read!
The deadly mistake women make that drives men away from good women…
Have you heard about The Heartbreak Treadmill?
This is the mistake that women make that make good men lose interest and feel like they want to pull away and disappear on you.
You can learn more about it here…
There are 4 things that you can do to get on The Heartbreak Treadmill…
This makes you feel like you’re giving everything to a man or a relationship.
And if you’re like most women, all you’ll receive for it is…
Being taken for granted…
Treated like an option…
And put as a secondary priority in a man’s life…
And I don’t want that for you.
P.S. If you want to make sure you stay off The Heartbreak Treadmill and instead have your man pursue you for a committed relationship, click the link below…