It might be easy for a pretty woman to get a lot of messages and flirt emoticons on a dating app…but the question is “Are you getting messages from the right kind of man?”
You want a message from a quality date, someone who’s intelligent, independent, confident, and yes, hopefully very good looking!
Is the problem that successful men just aren’t looking? Or maybe they’re super picky?
Not at all. The problem may simply be that something about your profile is questionable and because of this impression, they don’t feel a connection.
Who knew that men actually paid such close attention to profiles? Maybe you thought all you needed was a good picture and a quote from Socrates. Actually no…now more than ever eligible singles really have to compete against each other to get a like or a swipe.
Let’s discuss five signs that your dating profile might be keeping the better roster of single guys away, while inviting those trolls, creeps and bad spellers that nobody wants.
1. Guys seem suspicious about your photos.
The problem may be that you’re not posting enough “down to earth” photos. Photos where you’re hiding your face, or where there is too much blur are usually off-putting to confident guys. For that matter, while glamour shots are hot, they don’t do much in the way of making you approachable. If a man sees a five-star modeling picture along with an accompanying soundtrack of all your favorite death metal albums, you seem more like an entry in a celebrity database than an actual human being. So when people give you the advice to post a good photo, remember to find the balance between beautiful and approachable. Several photos, including shots of you having fun, out with friends, and even during “down time” go a long way towards getting the right kind of attention.
2. Guys immediately seem to think you’re not intelligent.
The problem may be you’re not pushing your intelligence and conversational skills enough in the profile. And yet this is what men want the most! A confident and successful man wants to date an “equal”, someone as intelligent as he is and who can carry on an adult conversation. If then he sees a profile with spelling errors, multiple abbreviations, or a bunch of silly clichés, he will probably shudder. Oh true…if your picture is good he may chat you up anyway but your chances of a having long-term relationship just fell. Put some thought into your profile and talk about your hobbies, your life goals or passions, and what you’re looking for in a relationship. Smart guys like ambition!
3. Guys seem bored by you, even though they started the conversation!
The problem is you’re telling rather than showing! Many guys will avoid women if they think they are “self-absorbed” or narcissistic. You probably aren’t either of those things, so why is he presuming so much?
After all, how in the world are you supposed to talk all about yourself and not come across as narcissistic?
The problem is not in talking about yourself, but rather the words and sentences you use—and what you hope to accomplish in your profile text. What actually turns guys off is when you ramble on, brag about your accomplishments, and write with a pretentious air.
In contrast, what men actually want from you is for you to talk about yourself but to also show your “best qualities”, like a sense of humor, a kind disposition, and an interest in meeting new people. Usually, the standard length of a likable profile is about two paragraphs of self description, then two more about the kind of guy you’re looking for (focusing more on HIM) and then a sentence at the end that shows a playful spirit.
4. Men seem unusually shy or reserved when talking to you.
Probably because you’ve scared them a little bit with your overly aggressive profile. Believe me, I understand the need to “filter out” bad news guys from the very beginning. They’re annoying, they’re creepy, they suck! Sure…
But let me tell you a secret. The “filtering process” exists mainly for the benefit of really hot guys that you’re trying to impress. The creeps are not going to stop harassing you so just block them. But when you spend too much time insulting men (or a type of man), or complaining about dating, or lambasting your ex-boyfriend and so on…it really makes single men uncomfortable.
They might be a good match. They could even be the opposite of all those losers you describe. But now, they’re second-guessing themselves. Or worse yet, they think you just have an attitude problem and that you’ll probably judge them too.
That’s why it’s important to keep your profiles positive, fun and very personable. You want to invite smart, funny guys to you. You want to make men feel comfortable talking to you so that you have a wider selection of eligible singles to choose from.
It’s the same principle we teach at work—don’t bring negativity from the last job into the new job interview. Show everyone you’re a team player!
5. (Normal) Guys are just not messaging you at all!
What gives? You have a great photo and a funny profile. You even try to be sweet and honest, saying that you’re looking for a long-term relationship this time, or perhaps are getting over a breakup.
Err…actually THAT could be the problem. Stating that you only want a long-term, serious relationship might turn a lot of guys off. And it’s not necessarily that they’re all looking for one night stands—the problem is that it seems like you’re rushing things rather than taking it slow. As in, you’re only going to date the guy if he’s serious and interested in marriage.
Whoah! A little too fast for the average man.
ANY innocent expression could have a loaded meaning, or at least that’s what guys are thinking. Even expressions like “ready to move on” or “looking for my knight in shining armor” or “aren’t there any good men left?” seem to immediately convey feelings of neediness.
You need a man and any decent man will do!
That’s the message you put out there without realizing it. No wonder guys swipe left…that’s not what any man wants to hear. He wants to feel a special connection. He wants to see firsthand why you’re unique and wants to fall in love over time. That’s the right way to do it.
If you notice a problem in getting responses, or only seem to be getting responses from jerks and creeps, try changing up your profile. You WILL notice a difference!
How your online dating profile BETRAYS you
if you’ve ever tried and failed to meet “The One” using online dating,
you need to drop whatever you’re doing and go watch this special presentation
by Michael Fiore right now. . .
It’s called “What Your Online Profile Is Secretly Saying To Men”. . . And in
it, Mike gives you a “Man’s Eye View” on online dating so you can finally
discover why you’re attracting the WRONG kind of guy online. . .
This presentation might be a little difficult to watch at first (as you
discover how you totally accidentally committed a huge SIN when you wrote
your online profile). . . But when you learn the “secret formula” Mike’s
created. . . that teaches you how to “tune” your online profile so the man
you’re dreaming of literally salivates when he sees it. . . fantasizes about
what it would be like to love you. . . would do anything to make you his. . .
Well, it’ll be way more than worth it!
This is VERY powerful stuff that will open up a whole new world of wonderful
men for you.
P.S. If you think “Online Dating Doesn’t Work” or that online dating is just
for kids in their 20s, you couldn’t be more wrong. In this video Mike PROVES
to you how effective online dating is (ESPECIALLY if you’re over 40). . .