Have you noticed that your partner or boyfriend has been unusually cold lately? Maybe he’s not speaking as much or seems resentful of something. The energy between you two has changed for the worse and it’s very upsetting. What you’re experiencing is beyond a lack of passion.
Such drastic “withholding” behavior indicates something else is wrong. He hasn’t just lost passion for you…he’s lost emotional connection.
If a man is feeling an emotional “disconnect” from you, this may be a serious sign of resentment, a lack of trust or even incompatibility. The best thing to do is to start noticing signs he may be leaving behind.
Sometimes men leave signs on purpose, hoping you’ll sense what’s bothering them. Other times, they won’t be aware of the signs they’re leaving behind but it will be very clear to you that something is wrong. Look for these six signs that suggest your guy is not only “bored” of the relationship, but starting to doubt whether he’s happy with you.
1. He’s not listening the way he used to…he’s always distracted.
To some extent, all men are guilty of multi-tasking. That’s just the way our minds work. But you will definitely notice that something is wrong if he hardly ever listens to you and seems to just zone out whenever you speak. He may forget important dates or projects, or may even seem to resentfully ignore you when you’re trying to tell him something. This strongly suggests he doesn’t feel intimate with you the same way he used to. He’s not interested in the subject or what you want from him.
2. He doesn’t want to go to bed together…or hardly spend time with you at all.
Not all couples can afford to go to bed together, I understand that. But the real problem happens when they CAN, and yet don’t. It’s not just disconnect…for some reason he enjoys his time alone more he craves companionship with you.
Why is that? There has to be a reason. There’s a need he’s fulfilling by himself that he can’t get from you. Whether it’s sexual, emotional or intellectual, something is missing and he’s looking for that something elsewhere.
3. He doesn’t get any joy out of impressing you the way he used to.
It’s always disappointing when a routine settles in and your partner starts taking you for granted. He used to work so hard in the beginning, just to put a smile on your face. What happened? It’s true, sometimes a boyfriend or husband does “calm down” and stops being the romantic Romeo he used to be during courtship.
But it should never completely STOP. If a man doesn’t seem to care about providing for you anymore, and getting some joy out of the experience, then there is a serious problem.
Men may “slow down” a bit later on, but if they still love you and want that intimacy, they never completely stop. If he’s stopped or slowed down a great deal then something about the experience of providing for you is discouraging him. He’s having a negative reaction to what should be a positive and rewarding experience.
4. He is treating you like a child, not a lover/girlfriend/wife.
What does daddy do when his little girl wants too much? He tells her NO, right?
That’s normal…but it’s not normal in a romantic relationship. A man is usually very eager to say yes and to please his partner in whatever way he can. But if his answer has been NO to everything lately, this indicates a serious disconnect.
He may feel burdened or feel taken advantage of. What he used to associate as a happy and joyful experience (pleasing you and surprising you, saying YES!) he’s now viewing as a negative. There has to be something going on in his mind that started this negativity.
5. He’s “outsourcing” his needs to other women, men or artificial sources.
This is perhaps the most telling and most dangerous sign. When he turns to other sources to fill a need, whether that’s an emotional, sexual or social need, he’s really saying that he’s given up. This is what usually lures him into an affair, or to some other artificial addiction that’s just as damaging to the relationship, like porn, online chat, social media, drinking, drugs and so on.
I’m not suggesting that all porn and all contact with other women are terrible things. But you well know that if he’s devoting more time to fantasy sex, or to chatting with other women, or even hanging out with his bros at the bar, he is “outsourcing” and that’s a real problem. Communication is suffering…it’s time for an honest talk.
6. He’s becoming more critical of you.
Isn’t it annoying when your partner starts criticizing you? Well, believe it or not, it’s not involuntary behavior and it’s not always “just trying to help.” It’s actually a message to you, from your partner, letting you know that you’re falling short of their expectations.
Yeah it can feel terrible and no one likes to be criticized. But if he’s become more critical over the last few months he’s really bothered by something and he’s trying – in very clumsy and hurtful ways – to fix the situation. He thinks that by telling you what irks him, you will figure out what he wants and then the disconnect will be repaired.
But of course, that’s the wrong approach. The only real fix is to talk things out honestly and to stop hinting around or making personal attacks. Negativity never brings about positive change. Change has to come from a positive and constructive mindset.
In all of these cases we see a real problem here, one that boils down to poor communication. If you notice any of these signs, then don’t panic and don’t become confrontational with him, since that will only escalate the situation. Instead, set aside a time to talk about the issues that’s bothering him and what you can do as a couple to address these issues.
It’s not too late, so as long as he’s still in your life and still cares about you enough to stay in this relationship. You can fix it and all it requires is some more quality bonding time.
The secret men desperately crave yet rarely receive
Has a man you were seeing ever sent you mixed signals?
Like one minute he’s really hot and into you and the next minute he’s cold and you’re not even sure what to do about it?
The truth is that there’s one way to connect with a man like this that will make him “switch gears” and start loving you the way you want him to…
And it’s something that he rarely receives yet desperately craves.
If you can connect with him in this way…
Gain total control over his desire, his body, and make him have eyes for you and only you…
P.S. Only use this is you want to make it so that he can’t get you out of his mind…
You’ll be all he thinks about even when you’re nowhere near him…