It’s your worst fear come true: he’s falling out of love with you! It’s a devastating experience and the one thing you both promised would never happen.
But here you are…and it’s very evident that something has changed. There’s a lack of passion, a lack of sex and intimacy, and worst of all, an emotional disconnect.
Something has to change and soon, or else you could both lose everything.
And even though you’re probably panicking, thinking that divorce or breakup is imminent…I actually have some words of comfort for you.
It’s NOT too late. It’s not even an issue of incompatibility, as if you are “wrong” for each other. There’s still hope. And there are still certain actions you can take to repair the relationship before it wastes away into nothing.
And I’ll let you know what that is at the end…but first, let’s talk about the difference between a lack of passion (which is common and sort of a big deal) vs. a guy actually losing the love he has for you, which is a huge deal and is putting your relationship in jeopardy. Let’s start by considering six very obvious red flags that show he’s losing that loving feeling—and fast!
1. His entire personality has changed from dream lover to selfish lout.
He started off the perfect gentleman, all about pleasing you and entertaining you…so what happened? Now when you talk to him he’s irritable, unresponsive (maybe hours or days without responding to messages), rude and overly critical. He may even blame you for everything going wrong with the relationship.
It’s almost like he’s not the man you fell in love with! That’s the sign of a man who’s completely dissatisfied in the relationship. In his mind, the relationship is nearly over because he’s no longer getting what he wanted out of it. Now he’s resentful and doesn’t care if you know…because to him, it’s no longer a secret. Your mutual unhappiness is out in the open.
2. He avoids talking to you and being with you as often as he can.
He may fill his schedule with work, with extra projects, or even just trying to be alone. He doesn’t enjoy spending time with you the way he used to. It’s all conflict or all pretending to enjoy himself, so he now prefers to be alone. He will oftentimes make excuses too, suggesting that he’s very busy and can’t afford the time to eat with you, make love, or go out on a date. You are no longer his priority and the love he once had is draining quickly.
3. He talks about other women. He even compares you to other women.
When a man talks to other women more than he talks to you it’s definitely the sign of a problem. But when he actually compares you to other women, OR mentions other women that make him happy, it really does feel like a vicious personal attack.
If the guy is rude and resentful, he may make very direct comparisons, perhaps comparing your body to his favorite celebrity or another attractive woman. Obvious assh*ole behavior, right?
But sometimes the comparisons are far more subtle. He may simply mention another woman’s name and meekly suggest how she handles a situation or what’s so fascinating about her life. If you feel jealous at the mention of her name, it’s probably with good reason. He’s mentioning her positive qualities, perhaps in casual conversation, while focusing on your negative qualities. It’s not as disrespectful as the previous example, but it’s still dangerous territory and a sign of unhappiness.
4. He seems upset or short-tempered when you try to flirt with him or be romantic.
He used to love those little nicknames and love taps. What happened? Now he seems annoyed by the behavior, as if you’re his mom kissing him before the school bus arrives.
If this sounds like your relationship, there’s definitely some festering resentment and it may have been building for a long time now. He’s unhappy with some element of the relationship, some need that’s not being met, or some new change in communication that left him feeling neglected. For him, showing “love” or cuteness is like saying “everything’s great!” when obviously it’s not.
5. He goes there… he brings up horror stories from the past and punishes you.
When a man is very unhappy he lets you know. In fact, he may go back years and harp on an incident long ago that showed your “true colors.” He may even consider your sins against him a “pattern of behavior”, even though it’s completely a shock to you.
He’s very confused…and he’s lashing out in anger, bringing up more stressful memories to further stress you out. There’s no reason to do this, except to punish you…because he’s extremely unhappy about some aspect in the relationship.
Identifying what’s really bothering him is important because this hurtful dynamic cannot continue in a loving relationship.
6. He belittles you in front of other people.
This is another clear sign of complete rejection and an almost vengeful outlook of the relationship itself. To him, belittling you in front of other people is both a punishment and an attempt to distance himself from what he perceives is your mistake or flaw.
Perhaps he naively thinks that shaming you in front of others will call attention to the problem, but it never works that way. It only creates more resentment, hurt feelings and retaliation.
In every loving relationship, there is a strong need for both partners to support each other—to believe in each other and to champion the good character of each other. It’s what creates trust, intimacy and love between two people.
When your partner reaches this point, he’s lost respect for you and quite possibly because he feels you’ve done the same to him.
What to Do
If you’ve noticed any of these signs, it’s very important that you talk things out as soon as possible, or see a relationship counselor as a last resort. This is an emergency situation and love, like blood, is draining fast. You must keep this relationship alive by tending to that wound and repairing the damage that’s been done.
Talk to your partner first and sit him down for a kind and non-accusatory conversation. Ask him why he’s unhappy and invite him to share his real feelings. Talk out your trust issues together and see what compromises you both can make to return the relationship to a respectful one where love flows freely.
The secret men desperately crave yet rarely receive
Has a man you were seeing ever sent you mixed signals?
Like one minute he’s really hot and into you and the next minute he’s cold and you’re not even sure what to do about it?
The truth is that there’s one way to connect with a man like this that will make him “switch gears” and start loving you the way you want him to…
And it’s something that he rarely receives yet desperately craves.
If you can connect with him in this way…
Gain total control over his desire, his body, and make him have eyes for you and only you…
P.S. Only use this is you want to make it so that he can’t get you out of his mind…
You’ll be all he thinks about even when you’re nowhere near him…