“Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years.” -Simone Signoret
What a great quote, especially when you consider how some people rely on “chains” to stay together. Things like wedding rings. Religion. Children. Families. Financial security.
All of these things are “chains”, the things that bound us together to another person.
But the truth is nobody wants to be in chains. You may stay for a while, until the “debt” is paid, but it won’t be voluntary effort. It won’t be service from your heart.
On the contrary, love that is based on threads, hundreds of tiny threads, is something much stronger. It sews people together with thoughts, with memories, with feelings. These threads are constantly being created, reinforcing the bond you have with your partner because you are still finding little reasons to stay. Eventually, you are so closely linked together, parting with your mate would be painful, truly losing a piece of yourself!
This is what a loving and long-lasting marriage should be like. The desire to stay together, as opposed to the obligation. So how do you know if you are sewing these threads of commitment? Here are six signs that show how you and your partner really feel about each other. If you keep these patterns going strong, you will have a lasting marriage.
1. You’re not afraid to speak your mind.
Couples that can talk about everything are happier and are building a much stronger foundation for the future. Your partner is not afraid of approaching you, and likewise, you feel as if you can tell him anything. You don’t fear his overreaction. You don’t have to carefully choose your words. Even if you upset him you can still talk through the issue and explain your perspective. He accepts it because he encourages you to speak freely.
2. Your partner appreciates spending time with you—above everything else.
Many relationships are built on money or career. However, a recent study concluded that a couple was 40 percent more likely to get divorced if one spouse commuted to work longer than 45 minutes. Time is precious. Your partner doesn’t have to give up everything for you, but he should appreciate the value of spending time with you and sowing these threads of love, rather than assuming you’ll always stay together for mutual benefit.
3. Your partner doesn’t expect you to change.
Marry the flaws you can live with. Because the vast majority of men you meet will never change, even if you make them a project. Serious character flaws are not cured overnight. You can’t bank on a man’s potential, just what he is. Marriages last longer and are happier when both partners simply accept each other’s flaws and love them anyway. This is obviously why we say, marry the partner with the flaws you can actually live with and forgive them freely
4. Your partner believes in you and never gives up on you.
While we usually think of “never giving up” on one another as a show of mercy and patience (as in your partner overcoming addiction), the truth is, it doesn’t have to be all negative. There’s something very positive, very endearing, about believing in your partner and helping them to achieve their life aims. When you and your man support each other and fight for each other, your bond only grows stronger. Whether it’s supporting him in a career change, or helping him reach out in community volunteer work, it’s never a question of IF you support him. You always do because you believe in his character and his goals.
When you both believe in each other and have this mutual respect, you don’t put fall into the same relationship traps that other couples do. Like talking behind your partner’s back or putting them down to friends, or even in public. You’re simply too nuts about each other to enjoy such brutal entertainment.
5. You’re a good listener and an expert on “Him”.
What does a man want? Superior intelligence? Savvy wit and entrepreneurial brilliance? Not really…while all that’s great to find, the real treasure hunt for a man is to find a woman who really likes him. He loves the way she listens. He loves how she draws him out in conversation. She is an “expert” in figuring him out and getting him to share his thoughts and feelings.
This is why your long-term compatibility is partly determined in how well you listen to him, make him feel loved and valued, and inspire him to do what he does. In return, he will listen to you and learn how to draw you out. The entire relationship is based not on things, or even memories together, but based on how well you interact on a day to day basis. Learning him is loving him.
6. You are both in equal control of this relationship.
First, this means that you are both equals in the relationship. You’re not always fighting over who’s “right”, or who gets the final say because that indicates a need to control. When you’re both independent and self-sufficient people and don’t have control issues, you’re better able to maintain a strong union of equal partnership.
But even more importantly, this also refers to the need to actively control your happiness in your relationship, and not let external factors decide for you. Talk things over with your partner and build these bonds of love every day, rather than letting a lifestyle, money, family, or other “things” determine your success.
Only the two of you have power over this relationship. Don’t let other people influence it. Don’t let time wear it down because you define a successful marriage by the things you have. Things are temporary. Our bodies change, society changes, generations come and go and the world changes. But if you two make this work, by showing love for each other every day, your marriage will last until the end of time.
Marriage ‘on the rocks’? Read this ASAP”
How is your marriage going? Be honest…how is it ACTUALLY going?
If you’re reading this right now, then chances are your marriage isn’t what it used to be… and maybe it’s so bad, that you feel like your world is falling apart.
You feel like all the passion, the love, and romance have completely faded.
You feel like you and your husband can’t stop yelling at each other.
And maybe you feel that there’s almost nothing you can do to save your marriage, no matter how hard you try.
But you’re wrong.
You CAN save your marriage — even if your husband says he wants to get a divorce. You CAN rebuild that passion you felt for one another when you first kissed. And you can bring back that love and devotion you felt for one another when both of you said, “I love you” for the first time.
If you feel like your marriage is worth fighting for, then do yourself a favour and watch this quick video that will teach you everything you need to know about salvaging the most important thing in the world:
In this video, you’ll learn the three critical mistakes that most couples commit that rip marriages apart. Most couples will never learn how to fix these three simple mistakes.
You’ll also learn a simple, proven “Marriage Saving” method that makes marriage counsellors look like kindergarten teachers.
So if you feel like your marriage is about to take its last few breaths, then I urge you to watch this quick video:
You’ve got nothing to lose.
All the best,
PS. Just take 3 mins to watch the video.. if you don’t, you may miss the one tip that could save your marriage. Click here: Make Your Husband Adore You Again <<