Maybe this scenario seems familiar. Your ex has been chummy with you lately. You still have feelings for him…maybe you’re still in love with him. He texts you frequently and treats you like his best friend.
But…he’s also dating someone else. Or maybe he implies that the two of you dating was a mistake and that he would NEVER do it again.
This happens a lot, actually. Some men do want to be friends with their exes and not all of them for weird or creepy reasons. The real question is, does he actually want you back? or are you simply projecting your wish onto him, hoping he’ll take you back?
This can be very confusing, especially when guys do confusing things – like asking for dates (which are not dates), or acting nostalgic about the times you had together.
Don’t worry…I’ve compiled a list of signs that he DOES want you back and that it’s not all about staying friends. Notice these specific signs first, before pursuing anything. After all, sex with your ex (who doesn’t love you anymore) is not the best idea in terms of moving forward!
1. He’s still angry or at least blaming you for the end of the relationship.
Confusing as this sounds, it’s true. If a man is over you, he eventually does “release” that anger, resentment and blaming. He has accepted that the two of you were not compatible and that you outgrew each other. He has found happiness in himself and in another woman.
A man who’s still “under you” holds onto that anger. He’s rude and mean and ornery because he feels hurt in his heart! He blames you for ruining the trust in the relationship. (Even if he’s dead wrong, that’s likely what he feels)
Now it’s true that over time, a guy still in love with you WILL start to behave. He’ll do his best to be polite, PC and “mature” about it. But this façade is easy to see through if he’s still obsessing about you. So pay close attention to the next stage…
Jealousy is the most obvious sign that he’s not over you. Not only is he jealous of other men in your life (or even the idea of you dating someone else) but he’s also VERY quick to date someone new and moves forward in that relationship very quickly. All these actions are motivated by jealousy and the desire to mask the pain he has for losing you, by creating a strange fantasy of instant intimacy in the arms of someone else.
Probably someone a lot like you or someone exact opposite of you – basically a relationship started because of comparisons he made to you.
Progressing in a healthy relationship is nearly impossible for him because he refuses to take time to heal and refuses to let go of the jealousy. Enter the rebound relationship, now on sale for a (very) limited time.
3. Pretending to be happy and crying alone.
His priority right now is to unsettle you, so don’t be surprised if he posts all over social media about his happiness and fantastic new life. But whether this is staged for or he’s just convincing himself he’s happy, it’s only another mask. He’s actually spending more time alone, avoiding doing things (that don’t involve chasing after women), and definitely NOT spending time figuring out what he really wants out of life.
He might let himself go physically and take long breaks from social media or his phone. He’s “hiding” because he’s hurting, just like most mammals tend to do!
4. He’s still unwholesomely interested in your life.
When a guy is over so that’s usually when he decides to let you be as independent as you want. When a man is still in love, he will sneak around and scheme to be involved in your life in one capacity or another.
He will get his friends to spy on you. He will continue to be friends with your friends or your family members, even if it feels awkward for them. For a man who’s “over” you, he sure seems to have trouble excusing himself from your life!
5. He plays weird, subtle mind games.
Nothing diabolical (hopefully) but more of the “I want you to think of me” variety. He might start doing all the fun things you once asked him to do. He hopes you’ll be jealous seeing the new fun him living his best life (or whatever).
He might also run into you at places or parties, acting as if it’s a strange coincidence that the two of you met – which it’s usually not.
6. When the time is right, he pours his true feelings out.
After the guise of being platonic friends passes he will usually share something with you perhaps he’ll explain to you why he left (or why the relationship ended). Or he might apologize for his past behavior. Or (and this one is the old faithful) he’ll drunk dial and give you one last piece of his mind. Sometimes drunk dialing is the only way he can admit what he feels, because it frees him of his inhibitions and stubbornness. Listen closely to what he says…
But remember this. If he loves you, he will prove it. That brings us to the next sign.
7. He will start to change for you.
Men never change, right? Well they don’t suddenly become an altogether different person, that’s true. But through conscious effort people can make practical changes and alter their life course for the better. They can make changes that will help them to find happiness and be more stable partners for a relationship.
If part of your problems together were his negative attitudes or self-destructive behaviors, he probably knows that’s what has to change. If he’s willing to put forth the effort to change then that’s a very dramatic and serious display of love.
8. He reaches out to you every so often, via phone or text.
If he is still in love with you then he will reach out to make contact and he will always be the one to break the ice. He’ll say he’s checking on you or to see how you’re doing. If anything his suspicious that you’re alone and depressed is probably reflective of what HE’S feeling. And it’s a strong sign that he’s still waiting for the right time to make another move.
Getting back together with your ex is always possible…it just depends on how much you’re both willing to change to prevent the same relationship from self-destructing in the exact same way as before. Always remember that you both must change if you want a better result, both your habits and your attitudes.
The #1 Mistake Women Make When Trying to Get a Man Back
If you’ve broken up with someone you love and you want to get back together with him…
There’s one mistake that you absolutely MUST avoid if you want him to take you back and want a REAL relationship together.
It’s something that I call, a “Broken Attachment.”
I call it a Broken Attachment because you’re giving him the wrong impression of who you are and what you want.
This lowers your value in his eyes and makes it nearly impossible to get him back.
If you want to know more about what a Broken Attachment is…
P.S. Want to know what you should do instead to get him back?