Is your relationship stuck in a rut? Do you feel as if the spark is gone between you and your once red-hot lover? Or even worse, do you feel as if communication is breaking down and your relationship is slowly crumbling?
Not to worry. The “treatment” for an ailing relationship and a mostly sexless marriage are one in the same. Increase communication, make changes where needed and focus on building emotional intimacy. Here are six tips that will help you not only repair a relationship that’s shaky, but also strengthen its foundation.
1. Please let go of notions of how your partner SHOULD be.
One key to a successful marriage is to accept your partner’s unique personality and love him for who he is – not what he could be. Of course, it’s natural to wish your partner was a “little bit more something”, because then he would be perfect, right?
However, it’s very unfair to set expectations or standards for your partner. Whether you’re trying to manipulate him to change or even “joking” about his shortcomings, it’s a major conflict in the making. Unrealistic expectations destroy trusting relationships. The only way to make this work is if you love your partner for who he is right now.
2. Show appreciation and not just for the big things.
Showing appreciation for giant acts of kindness (like a new car, a new expensive diamond ring, a new house) that’s easy! The real challenge of a relationship, and the real JOY of one, is to show appreciation for the little things that he does for you. Small gestures of love and commitment deserve “small” thank yous, and small expressions of affection. Something as simple as a pat on the shoulder, a hug, a genuine “thank you” keep your relationship bong strong and emotional.
Remember that sex is just an expression of emotion, of love, and so touching your partner throughout the day – and showing this appreciation – is every bit as important as a sexual orgasm. Touching IS a sexual experience, a spiritual one, and a sentimental one.
3. Talk more…not just about things but about what you’re thinking.
All couples talk, right? You might be surprised at how many married or committed couples talk “at” each other, rather than TO each other. Conversation should be about emotionally connecting, not simply conveying information and passing along orders. Back when you were first dating, conversation WAS an intimate, sexual and exciting experience all its own. You were exploring each other’s minds, you were connecting so closely, so intimately.
Reach out for that again. There’s no reason why you can’t get back that same intensity. All that’s required is that you devote some time, preferably every day, to converse and connect.
What’s on your partner’s mind? What’s stressing them out? What are their deep thoughts? What are their goals and are they changing? Make it a point to discuss everything BUT work, family, the kids, supper, and other household chores.
4. Make it a point to go out regularly and do something exciting!
How can we not pity the couple who never dates anymore? Why did you ever date? Was it just to advance the relationship sexually? Did you keep a scorecard of how many dates were fulfilled so that sex could occur in a timely manner? Of course not!
Dating was about having fun, about sharing new experiences together. They were positive associations, moments in time that are going to live on forever. So why on earth would you stop dating? Stop making memories, stop having fun?
Make it a point to schedule dates. Don’t just schedule time for romance and sex…be adventurous. Go out and try new things for the sheer experience of living. Let’s face it, raising kids and handling chores are not always fun activities. But hey, going to shows, to theme parks, movies, new restaurants, festivals and meet & greets—those usually are!
5. Don’t resist change…embrace it.
The longer you live with your partner, the more likely you’re going to see some major changes in him. People grow, their attitudes evolve, they may even change some aspects of their personality.
Some women react to change by panicking and trying to keep things the same. It’s not going to work. Evolution is a fact…things evolve, people’s attitudes gradually change because of the experiences they endure. The lessons they learn in life influence them and shape their future. Embrace change and embrace your partner’s quest to become a better version of himself.
You may even find that what frustrates your partner the most is an unbreakable routine that never seems to change. He craves new challenges, new feelings, and new experiences. But he always seems to go back to the same routine. Some routine is good…but as soon as you sense that he resents the routine, there is only one logical thing to do: change things up!
Change what he doesn’t like and perk up his interest. This not only applies in sex, but also in daily routines, weekend routines and even yearly or seasonal events. If he craves stimulation but is unsure of how to find it, help him out and explore the world together.
6. Accept that you will have bad times…and see them as an opportunity to show love.
So many marriages today fail because partners are only prepared to deal with each other in the “best of times.” But if your goal is to be married or committed for the long-term you must accept and prepare for challenging times ahead. Your partner may get sick, he may get cranky, he may become distant and want time alone. He may even be tempted by another woman.
How do you react to trials? Do you panic or do you remain in control, always communicating, always honest?
Remember also that “being there” for your partner may mean different things to different people. It’s not so much that you are there for your partner, as it is, you are what your partner needs you to be.
For example, men usually want help in problem-solving, that’s the way their mind works. Women usually want emotional support, rather than male-centric solutions on how to logically fix the problem. But is this what your partner wants? Your goal should be to know your partner better than anyone else and so you must learn what kind of moral and emotional support they need from you to stay strong.
Lastly, remember that laughter is a great remedy for times of stress. You won’t be able to avoid all the anxieties of the future…but laughing with each other and sharing your outrageous sense of humor will always reduce tension and give your partner many moments of absolute bliss.
Make sure the good moments in life outweigh the negative ones and your relationship can only heal and grow in intimacy.
Russian Woman Reveals Her Secret For Making Men Commit
How would you like to suddenly have the ability to make your ideal man become hopelessly devoted to you?I’m talking about:
– No more wondering why he’s not pursuing you… the way men used to.
– No more trying to “test the waters” and see if he’s ready to commit.
– And no more struggling with the agony of not knowing if he’s truly yours.
As it turns out, the secret is a lot more simple than any of us realized.
Almost every woman from Russia learns this from their mom, but for some reason we were never taught how it works.
Luba Evans, one of the world’s most famous dating coaches has just uploaded a new video which reveals the biggest secret that makes men fall head over heels in love with Russian women, and how you can get the same results with your man.
And no, it has nothing to do with having an accent 🙂
You’ve never heard anything like this before.