If you wanted to boost your online dating profile would you take advice from a man or woman?
Many of the dating tips you find online are going to be from a woman’s point of view—friendly advice, based on what worked for your friends or sisters. However, what might actually be more helpful is to go straight to the source and get a man’s point-of-view on the issue. That way, you can determine what’s wrong with the “average profile”, and learn ways on how you can make yours so much better.
Advice that’s male-centric may give you more insight into how men interpret communication, signals and female behaviors. In contrast, other women will do what they think works, based on experiences they’ve had…but that still doesn’t actually explain how the guy thinks and what he’s looking for in an online friend.
That’s why we’re going to consider how men actually feel about online dating profiles and what factors determine if it’s a pass or match. Now obviously, this is not about the “average man” online who only wants to talk to a verified female and then send stupid one liners and trade photos. This is about communicating with successful men, the kind that aren’t easily impressed…and have the most to offer.
Let’s consider four tips on how to separate yourself from the others straight from the mouths of men. I actually surveyed some men from online dating sites and asked them to share a few peeves and preferences about the online dating world, from Craigslist to Tinder, Facebook to eHarmony.com. Let’s start with the tip the guy’s first name, location, and then his quote. Read on as the subject explains what they see too much of and what they’d rather see from their ideal woman online.
1. Scout the competition. Embrace the chance to be competitive.
-Steve, San Francisco
“I see a lot of women online who post a profile picture and then skimp on all the other details. I mean, even Tinder lets you say a few words, if nothing else. All pictures and no text is usually a pass for me.”
Indeed, it does seem like many profiles are a lot alike, among both men and women. Therefore, the first real mission is to scour the net for other profiles like yours (similar location, dating status, preferred matches, etc.) and then determine how you can be BETTER than the competition. Put more thought into writing a story-driven profile, one that actually enhances the photos because of the way you use vivid language and discuss exciting events or hobbies that you enjoy. Instead of stating a boring fact, tell a story of about what happened to you and include lots of emotions and details in the story to make him FEEL it!
2. Be interested in having a 50 / 50 conversation with a man.
“Every other woman I talk to just sort of sends me back one word answers or short sentences. I guess they think we should do all the talking, but unless we have something in common, I can’t ‘entertain on demand’ very well. Even some of the women on these well known commercial dating sites that are hired to chat with guys, they have very superficial ice breaking questions. ‘Hey handsome!’ and stuff like that. A woman who actually asks a question or writes an intelligent answer is rare.”
The idea of a man always carrying the conversation in dating culture is for a good reason—because when he’s interested in a woman, he’s eager to talk. Eager to entertain and showcase his intelligence and creativity. But a woman who wishes to be taken seriously as a marriageable option has to show a man two things: (1) that she can be enthusiastic about what he’s saying and encourage him to open up more; and (2) that she can find common ground in the conversation, share her own experiences, and relate it back to the topic at hand.
This mature approach to dating conversation goes a long way—especially online where even basic etiquette seems to be lacking.
3. Don’t try to sound “super-intelligent” – try to sound like an equal, like someone who’s down to earth and ready to have a mature conversation.
“Many women make the mistake of trying TOO HARD to be intellectually wowing. For example, they over think the first sentence, or quote celebrities, or give therapy sessions, or hand out new age guru advice that they learned in yoga—all instead of an actual conversation.”
Men actually don’t want a woman who’s eager to out-smart them or talk down to them. Who really enjoys that, anyway? What they want is a social equal, a woman who has intelligence, balanced by high confidence, and matured to the point where she’s not threatened…she just wants to have a good time. She knows enough so that she doesn’t have to prove anything. She can talk to or listen to a guy for hours, because she has an earnest desire to get to know him, to learn something from him, and to appreciate his intellect, just as much as she wants to share her own high intelligence—when the time is right.
4. When it’s time to showcase yourself, don’t tell—show them. A man will never like you because you tell him to…he will observe your behavior and fall in love by his own choice.
Steve, Tampa Bay
“It’s almost like, once they decide they like you, they start listing things off that they’ve done, or how great of a person they are. I believe you…I just want to feel something when I interact with somebody. I have to admit…what usually does it for me is, is a woman who flirts. Maybe even a little aggressively, because when you’re flirting online you can get away with a lot more that you can’t do in person.”
Women who are smart, fun, and who aren’t afraid to come across as a little edgy tend to make for memorable online dates. What does edgy mean and what are some examples? In terms of initiating conversation and in coming up with something new or unexpected to say as an opening line.
It means being the first one to say hello (no need to wait on a man to text you) and also the first one that says something other than, “How are you?”, “good morning” and “how was your day?” Just a simple, “Do I strike you more as a superheroine or villainess?” or “You seem very mysterious…do you have a Walter White thing going on?” can get him laughing and put him a little “on edge.”
He doesn’t entirely feel safe or bored with you…but he’s intrigued. Always interested to see how far you’ll push him. This is a good example of making a conversation fun—not just strictly dating business.
Use these four tips to stand out from the competition and drastically improve the quality of your conversations online and the caliber of men!
How Your Online Profile LIES About You
If you’re struggling to attract a quality man into a loving, secure relationship online then I have something very important to tell you…
The problem isn’t that good men aren’t online…
Or that online dating doesn’t work…
In fact, let me share a pretty interesting statistic with you real quick:
Over a THIRD of the couples that got married last year met online…
Here’s a statistic that’s even MORE interesting:
According to Statistics Brain, couples that meet online get engaged, on average, just over 18 months after meeting each other.
Instead of the 42 months it takes most couples!
And here’s an even crazier statistic:
Couples who meet online and get married are only 1/3 as likely to get divorced in the first 10 years!
All those stats are kind of amazing. . . But I could understand if they might make you sad.
Because if online dating is so amazing, you might be wondering why YOU never meet great guys online…
Which is why I want you to go watch this video right now:
It’s by a friend of mine, Michael Fiore (who’s been on the Rachael Ray show and has helped tens-of-thousands of women find love). . .
And it’s called “What your online profile is secretly saying to men.”
It explains how your online dating profile is BETRAYING YOU… Lying about you…
Why the profile you worked so hard on that you THOUGHT was going to bring “The one” to you…
Is actually causing him to run for the hills. . .
PLUS Mike is going to tell you EXACTLY how to change your profile so you wake up every morning with an inbox full of amazing, age-appropriate, handsome men. . .
Who are DESPERATE to get to know you and take you out.
P.S. Only watch this video if you’re ready to have everything you thought you “knew” about online dating totally changed.
If you’re fine with attract all the wrong men…
And having guys you thought might be good disappear and stop contacting you…
Then go back to what you were doing and keep hoping you “get lucky.”
But if you’re ready to attract Mr. Right into your life with your online dating profile, then go to the link below right now…