If you’ve made it clear that you WANT a certain man—and flirted with him, paid close attention to him, and maybe even asked him out, you may be waiting for a big payoff.
Maybe you’re waiting for him to sweep you off your feet. To be romantic. To have sex or to propose to you if you’ve gone that far.
But you’re still waiting. And little by little, he seems to be stalling or maybe even regressing in the relationship.
What in the world went wrong? How can a man be intensely into you one minute and then fall out of love in just a few weeks?
You’re confused. You’re desperate to try something, anything, to get his attention back. And that’s when your friend tells you…
“You need to STOP chasing him immediately. Get him to chase you instead.”
That is good friendly advice but there’s a little more to it than that. Let’s discuss four things that happen when you actually stop chasing a man and how this affects the relationship.
1. He immediately misses you.
It’s practically a scientific fact that when we lose something or someone, or start to see less of them, then we value that special something even more so. The more familiar, the more we take it for granted. So if you’ve been rather persistent and bold about getting your man’s attention and sending him strong signals…and then you suddenly stop the behavior…then yes, he immediately misses you. He enjoyed the attention you were giving him and now wants it back. Will it be enough to push him to chase you for a change? Not so fast…
2. He thinks back to what the relationship did for him.
Now is a time of personal reflection. He may be missing you, but he’s also wondering if he’s happier without you, or if being away from you has opened up more opportunities for him. In short, he’s thinking selfishly. At this stage, he will think back to how you made him feel. How much fun he had talking to you, bonding with you, and how much you had in common. At this point, ideally, you would have bonded together and shared many wonderful memories. You see, he’s not just missing the attention you gave him, he’s missing these powerful emotional experiences. If he doesn’t seem to chase you back, or at least give you some attention, then there wasn’t much interaction going on.
3. If he’s interested, he finds out that chasing you, instead of waiting for you to chase him, is invigorating. It makes him feel more like a man. And it makes him want you all the more.
Men like the feeling they get from working hard and reaping a big reward. It’s in our nature. It’s what makes the reward worth fighting for and training for in the first place. A man usually doesn’t want something that’s cheap or that he can get for free. There’s no effort involved in getting it. And if it’s that cheap or that free, then there’s nothing that makes his reaching that goal special.
Men want to feel special. They want to feel as if not just anyone could have accomplished this great task—only YOU, Sir. Only YOU, Oh Great One.
That’s the masculine mindset, at least when it comes to chasing women. They will always respond more intensively if they have the ego boost of being the aggressor.
You could trace it back to evolutionary theory and say that men are hunters. Perhaps there’s new evidence to contract this, but I do happen to believe that men are by nature providers. They want to impress their partner with the ability to give in resources. This starts the attraction and fortifies the relationship over time. This attracts the woman to the man and makes him excited to work—eager to impress her with his unique talents for providing.
Men also enjoy the ego boost that comes from fighting and defeating other men for the attention of a beautiful woman, symbolically or literally, they want to win. When you make it a little hard on them and a little hard on every other man for that matter, it promotes good competition. The men work harder…and your crush pushes himself to win you over and out-man everyone else!
4. When you stop chasing, you can actually focus on being receptive—this is more attractive to a man.
Just because you make a choice not to “chase” doesn’t mean you have to be indifferent or cold to a man’s affections. You can still show a receptive face and positive body language, which encourage your crush to keep pursuing you. For example, you could make a conscious effort to smile, to react with expressive faces (at pivotal points in the conversation), and touch him on the arm or shoulder when he makes you laugh. Focus on keeping strong eye contact and on helping him along in conversation by interacting with him and keeping things fun.
Then, when he’s all buttered up and he thinks you like him…
Do nothing. Make him understand that if he wants all these positive and sexy reactions from you, he must earn your attention. He must be persistent, creative and very sure of what he wants. Because until he makes it clear that he wants a commitment, your only goal should be to remain a confident woman, attached to no one.
Not chasing him means you don’t call him or text him constantly. You’re not trying to sell yourself or stop him from dating other women. You’re not going to let fear of losing him motivate you, because that’s his job.
Your focus should be on rewarding him for the attention he does give you—right down to the very end of it, when you reward him with the best sexual fantasy of his life. And when you reward him by becoming his loving wife. These are the rewards he seeks and he will seek them out once he realizes that you don’t give this special kind of intimacy away for free.
Don’t give your heart or your body away for free. Make sure he appreciates who you are and your finest qualities.
It’s not actually about you stopping all activity and become unresponsive. It’s simply about thinking of yourself in a different way and carrying yourself with more class and more grace as a self-confident woman. It’s about knowing what he desires, as well as knowing why he likes you in the first place.
What does he desire? Why of course, you, because you are the prize he seeks to win. Take pride in who you are and he will always respect you.
Have you heard about The Heartbreak Treadmill?
This is the mistake that women make that make good men lose interest and feel like they want to pull away and disappear on you.
You can learn more about it here…
There are 4 things that you can do to get on The Heartbreak Treadmill…
This makes you feel like you’re giving everything to a man or a relationship.
And if you’re like most women, all you’ll receive for it is…
Being taken for granted…
Treated like an option…
And put as a secondary priority in a man’s life…
And I don’t want that for you.
P.S. If you want to make sure you stay off The Heartbreak Treadmill and instead have your man pursue you for a committed relationship, click the link below…