There are a hundred great love songs all about the perfect kiss. Why is kissing such an expressive act anyway? In scientific terms, it’s a pretty weird thing to do. Yet romantically speaking, it feels so nice. It feels at once sexy, loving, emotional and healing.
It’s kind of a shame that a lot of people these days “fast-forward” through kissing and quickly jump into bed, eager for sex and eager for foreplay. But the PRE-foreplay is actually the most fascinating part of the new relationship.
Take the first kiss. You both feel a strong attraction. You’ve become friendly with each other. You’re spending time together, trusting each other. But every time you meet, you flirt a little more. You can both tell that you like each other. Finally, he makes a move. He reaches in closer, his face so close to yours. Your nerves are on end. Your heart races. You desire him and he can’t wait anymore—he wants to be more than friends. It’s an exciting, sexy moment! And then the kiss! The kiss feels…
Well…how does it feel?
It might feel wonderful or it might feel confusing and weird. The truth is you can actually tell a lot about a guy and what he wants from you from the way he kisses. That’s true not only of the first kiss but also the way he kisses in a long-term relationship.
Let’s review some guy kissing styles and find out what’s going on in his head…and what it might mean for the future of the relationship.
1. Slow Lip Kiss
The best kind of kiss! This one is slow, passionate, intimate and all about emotional connection. If he kisses you like this, he wants to be a dashing hero for you. He also gets credit for experimenting with his kisses, sucking gently on the upper or lower lips and maybe kissing the cheek or elsewhere on the mouth.
2. Closed-Mouth Kiss
Overly dry and closed-mouth kisses tend to be formal, or perhaps the sign of a long-term relationship. They’re charming as hello or goodbye gestures, but if this is the only kind of kiss, it’s time to reintroduce the passion! Single guys that do this are definitely not into you.
3. Head Kiss
If he kisses you on the head, it’s a more protective gesture. He wants to take care of you, as if a husband or boyfriend. He feels attracted, responsible, and emotionally involved.
4. Hand Kisses
If he kisses you on the hand or on the wrist, it’s definitely a flirty gesture and one he wants you to feel right away. If he makes intense eye contact while kissing your hand he certainly has that killer confidence! Players tend to do this, or perhaps a man who very much likes you and wants to be bold and daring.
5. Tongue Kiss
The “French Kiss” is an obvious sign of sexual attraction and depending on WHEN he uses it, he may be moving too fast or just the right speed. If he does not seem to enjoy longer lip kissing and goes straight for the French, he’s more about the sex than the connection. However, if the French Kiss happens after you spend some time slow kissing, then he’s actually showing you how enthusiastic a lover he could be if you kept going.
6. Cheek Kiss
This is the same kiss your relatives give you and it’s just about that level of platonic. Men usually don’t cheek kiss unless they’re on an awards show…or they’re just not attracted to you.
7. The Groping Kiss
For that guy’s who in too much of a hurry to even French-Kiss first, there’s the gropey hands guy. He will kiss you all right…but also put his hands (or lips) all over your body, anywhere from your neck to your boobs, stomach or pushing his body into yours. Most of it is unwelcomed attention because he’s not actually in the moment – just fast-forwarding to the sex.
8. The Soft Kiss
If his kiss seems soft or maybe even a little shy, then it means he’s holding back. He might be afraid of being too rough or he might be holding back for some other reason. Perhaps he “resisting” you, because of insecurity or a guilty conscience. When a man is into it, he’s usually much more confident in the way he kisses.
9. The Slobber Kiss
He’s a little too excited and can’t seem to keep his saliva from drenching you. He’s definitely into you but he’s an inexperienced kisser. He needs a little help learning to calm down and control his excitement.
10. The Controlling Kiss
He’s almost too forceful and demands that you follow his head. He’s convinced that his expert technique is perfect for you, so much so that he never bothers asking you what you like or experimenting with different kisses.
11. The Empty Kiss
Lastly, beware the empty kiss. This comes from a guy who kisses pretty good but doesn’t actually CONNECT physically or intimately. He doesn’t use his hands, he doesn’t hug or embrace you, he doesn’t cuddle – in other words, he seems distant even though he enjoys kissing. He’s afraid of intimacy. In contrast, when a man feels emotionally connected he thinks of the kiss as the peak of the bonding experience. His kiss makes you feel desired, needed and loved.
In conclusion, men are very obvious! They might be able to deceive you with words but you can always tell what he’s thinking from the way he kisses. Pay close attention next time and try to FEEL what he’s saying with his lips, mouth, tongue and eyes. Usually, he conveys a lot. Through his kiss you can sense love, like, curiosity, respect…or more negative qualities like suspicion, boredom, distance and anxiety.
If you notice some distance or hesitation, try to help him open up, letting him know it’s safe for him to tell you anything. As often as possible evaluate the status of the relationship with a series of lovely kisses!
The kiss that guarantees he loves you. . .
If you’re a single woman who’s sick of first dates that never turn into second dates . . .
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